The Stress-free Guide to Writing Wedding Thank You Notes
Writing 75 to 150 or more personal thank you notes after your wedding sounds daunting, right? But it actually can be easy and stress free with a few tips … and some cheat sheets.
So here it is, your wedding thank you note survival guide:
Top 5 Thank You Note Writing Tips
Keep that List
Dust off your wedding invitation address list, you know the one that took forever to pull together. And simply add a column for gift and a place for a check mark. Here you’ll write down details of the gift next to the addresses.
Make a Space
Ok, the best way for this to be fast and easy is to make it fast and easy. So do yourself a favor and keep a dedicated space for this task. A desk or corner of the kitchen table will do.
The important thing is to keep everything within arms reach.
For you right-handed folks, I suggest keeping:
- the list on the left
- thank you cards in the middle where you sit with envelopes next to them on the right
- pens where your right hand is
- stamps on the top left or right depending on how it’s easiest for you to grab them to place on your envelope
- a clear place next to you to put your completed stamped notes
Yes it’s an assembly line…and it will make your note writing lightning fast.
Give It a Rest
Seriously, don’t try to do it all in one go, or in one wild thank you writing weekend. Aim to do 4 to 6 notes at a time. And then walk away.
Not only will you feel better, your guests won’t see your hurried penmanship as you start to get tired. Plus you’ll make fewer mistakes…and who wants to do these twice?
Divide and Conquer
Don’t draw straws for this one, you both should work on thank you notes. You’re aiming to get all of your notes out within 6 weeks of your wedding, and not go crazy. So you are going to need two people.
One simple way to do this is for you to take your family and friends, and for your spouse to do the same. Agree ahead of time, and split the list so there’s no confusion, or double notes.
Write and Repeat
Yes, thank you notes should be personal and heartfelt. But that doesn’t mean you have to reinvent the wheel each time you write one.
So come up with a few thank you note templates ahead of time. Proof and spell check these thoroughly. Feel free to add a more personal sentence or two for dear friends and close family.
No one compares thank you notes, so your guests will never know. And you’ll be done faster.
Anatomy of a Thank You Note
Write based on what you call the person, whether it be Uncle Kevin, Bob, or — in the case your childhood neighbor — Mrs. Hansen.
The key is to show your appreciation for the gift. That may mean telling the person how you will use the gift or how you will cherish it for years to come. The most important thing is to mention the gift by name, unless it’s money (see below for how to handle that)
There’s one person writing the note, so one person should sign it. You can mention your spouse in the note to let the recipient know that the appreciation is from both of you.
And how to sign it? Love, With love, Thanks again, Fondly, With best wishes sound more heartfelt than Regards or Sincerely. For close family, friends and co-workers, sign using just your first name. For people who know you less well, sign your full name. Go with what feels right.
Sample Thank You Notes – aka Your Cheat Sheet
For close friends and family
Dear Aunt Linda,
Thank you so much for the ballroom dancing lessons. Ted and I absolutely love them! Every time we cha-cha we’ll think of you. I’ll definitely send pictures. I hope you had a wonderful time at our wedding. It meant so much to us that you came all the way from Florida. We loved having you there.
For a charity donation
Dear Mrs. Murphy,
Thank you for your wedding gift to the North Shore Animal League in our names. Both Michelle and I love animals, and your thoughtful gift will help dogs and cats find loving homes. We truly hope you enjoyed our wedding. We loved having you there.
Wish best wishes,
For a cash gift
Dear Uncle Geoff and Aunt Missy,
Thank you so much for your generous wedding gift. Leslie and I are saving for a new home, and with your gift we are well on our way! Thank you for sharing our wedding day with us. It was truly a pleasure having you there.
If under 10, each person gets their own note. Larger groups, like co-workers, can get a group note on a bulletin board, with an in-person thank you the next time you see or speak with them.
Thank you for the lovely china set. Thanks to you all, Mark and I now have a complete service for eight. We will be using these on our most special occasions, and we know we will cherish them for years to come. Thank you again for making our home beautiful.
Wish best wishes,
When they didn’t come the wedding
Dear Uncle Lou,
Thank you so much for the Panini press. Terry and I love it. We’re finding lots of good recipes and will be putting it to use soon. We missed seeing you at the wedding but promise to send you lots of pictures.
Thank you again,
When you don’t like it
Thank you for the velvet Elvis painting. You are so thoughtful. Sarah and I enjoyed dancing the night away with you at our wedding. It meant so much to us having you there to share our special day.
With best wishes,
Now you are ready to get writing!
For more tips, visit our section on wedding wording or etiquette
Photos by Imbue You: All the note cards featured above can be found in our handmade wedding stationery shop.